Don’t Fence me Inn

S01 — Session 13

1625, Earth Season


Season, Week, Day

Earth Season, Stasis Week, Godday to
Earth Season, Movement Week, Wildday


Dramatis Personae

PC

Berra Daughter of Jarang
Nala of the Unicorn Ladies
Tiwr (played en-troupe)
Rajar son of Ranulph
Serala
Vestra
Dormal

NPC

Irillo Jasilsson- Initiate of Issaries Goldentongue, and Merchant Adventurer
Salid the Sniveller (Sid)- Trollkin Guardstrollkin
Koraki- Wind Lord of Orlanth
Giland- Shaman, prune lookalike, and Serala’s Grandfather
Arim- Initiate of Eurmal-The-Smoother-of-Trade(Fence), and pickpocket
t’Dwaaaarf- The Dwarf of Dragon Pass
Onjur- Rune Lord of Yanafal Tarnils
An assorted chorus of Grazelanders, Tarshites, and Sartarites



Events
As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, from The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia, The Lay of Serala, Lance of the Cold Sun , The Sonnets to Vestra, Grey Lady of Esrolia, The Death of Rajar, and NalaTiwrSaga. Also included are some extracts from ‘The Accounts of the travels of Irillo Goldentongue‘, and {insertions} will occur in another cynical or sarcastic voice, whose precise nature is unclear, but may prove identifiable with future work. Whilst some of the comments of the ‘D Voice’ may sound like the ‘Q Voice’, and indeed sometimes strikingly similar to the ‘T Voice’, the context indicates it is a separate interlocutor who has opted to step outside the heroic narrative



[We left our heroes in the bloody ruins of the Lunar camp last time, with the exception of Salid, Irillo, and Dormal, who were camping elsewhere, with other Grazelanders. The response is succinctly explained in NalaTiwrSaga. ]

When revenge is done
The foreign revenger can
Take as tithe a fourth

[There is rather more detail in The Lay of Serala , although in this particular area, there is considerable debate about whether it is a later interpolation, and the archaeology of this period casts significant doubt on the veracity of this segment of the Lay1 It has been suggested (Fox et al) that this doubt is misplaced, and what is occurring is the conflation of this passage through Bagnot with the later conquest of Bagnot by a (presumably different) Serala of the Grazelanders. .]

Setting aside the claims of motherhood and clan
Serala showed once more her lack of need for any man
And leading forth her band, she fell on Bagnot, like the wrath of Yelm
The sunlight gold was glinting on her flaming lance and gilded helm!

The city then she stormed, midst hordes of men and horse!
But when its citizens pleaded for their lives from her she changed her course!
And leaving all with mercy, on she rode, and sought her way
As Yelm stikes from the stygian darkness into light’s true day!

She rode on north, scattering Lunar cavalry neath her hooves like rain
And others followed with her, awestruck in her liegemen’s honest train!
She struck on north, and finding naught around her worth her time
She left beyond the glow of Scarlet Moon’s most far flung line!

[In contrast to this, Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga decribes a rather more stealthy approach.]

A time to toil
Tirelessly taking life
A moment to make
Meekness and mild mien!

Softly snuck Serala
Speeding steeds for Berra2Garin’s suggestion that ‘Sword-youth’ would fit better here, and thus the verse should be considered patched by later sub-authors, led to the Amb-Altn Library schism.
Past passive paladins
Parading peaceful paths

Bravely bore Berra
Boredom of Bladesleeping
Riding reaving over
Rough Tarsh regions.

Outwitting Outriders of
Overreaching Lunar Outragers!
Leaving the Lunar Light
Leading the Lightbringers!

[NalaTiwrSaga gives an even more succinct explanation.]

When captured horses
Are past lunar guardians it
Left the equine road!

{“I can’t believe we got away with that? HOW?”}

[The next episodic element of the saga cycle appears to have involved the mythic ‘Dwarf of Dragon Pass’. Why precisely there should appear to have been only one is not clear in the sources, and should be seen as a metaphor, although sources differ as to what it is a metaphor for! Let us, for example, look at the Sonnets to Vestra.]

In deep Dagori Inkarth Vestra paus’d
And found a ravine which The Dwarf had caus’d3Or, as the Spurious Rajar has it:

So, that feeling when
You visit their long cave and
The dwarves are boring

To be carved thro’ the mountains soaring;
From this vertiginous chalice pouring
The great wealth which from his hands was scattered
The Dwarf would yet meet all those who mattered.
And so did Vestra and her kinsmen come
Where beauty unhuman4 Some copies have ‘inhuman’ at this point, but we have opted for this version, as it lacks the adverse connotations of inhuman. then struck them dumb!

The Dwarf amidst the splendour shining stood
He bade them pause, he gave them drink and food
With gifts exchanged and secret lessons learned
The heroes once more to their mission turn’d!

{“Uh guys… I think I’ve worked out what that round window is for. It’s so that ‘cannon’ thing can blow us all away with its magic. Happy to share.”}

[It would appear there was a surprisingly uneventful trip to Alda Chur, despite temptations listed in The Death of Rajar]

When your roads Snakebend
And you have a task, you know
Hollow still is there

[Once there, however, it would appear there was a slight ‘incident’, as documented in The Accounts]

Sumptus:
150L for 3 cavalry horses (Value 300L, cost to acquire in Grazelands, nil), 5% commission: 7.5L

Reditus:
Not having a fight with a Rune Lord of Yanafal Tarbnils - Priceless

[Or the same incident, presumably, from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga]

Sage Sword-Servant
Saw Savage Scimitar of Sin
Heard Heretic hurl
Harsh hurtful hate

Lies lay lurking
Loyal Lady launched
Sword swinging swift
Savaged by Safety Spell.

Sank she sadly
Serala sagely speaking
Waited, watched, wisely
Wandered warrior ‘way.

{“So, you’re going to just let him walk away without keeping an eye on him? You heroic types are the WORST. You just know he’s gonna…. aha, yeah. Time to get the idiots to make tracks. “}

We started the session with the group in two places- the sensible part comprising Dormal, Irillo and Sid well on the way to Bagnot, and the lucky group, consisting of everyone else in the trashed Lunar camp, being descended upon from two directions by Grazelanders.

As it happened, both of the Grazelander groups were from Serala’s tribe, and indeed one from her clan. Her clan was led by her Grandfather, who is best described as ‘crusty’. After discussion about Serala’s marital prospects, they got down to business, gifted the group 1/4 of the stolen Grazelander ponies (5) as well as letting them keep hold of the 10 lunar horses (1 of which was a Goldeneye). They then started making tracks towards the planned rendezvous at Bagnot.

Meanwhile, the others had headed to Bagnot to investigate, in time to find it firmly in the hands of the Lunar Tarsh regime, but a bit ‘borderline”, with some Bagnotians referencing ‘The King’, whilst others mentioned ‘The King’ whilst waving a bit of greenery, which confused both Dormal and Irillo.

After some successful trading, Dormal went off in search of his temple, and found a variant of Eurmal he had not encountered before, Eurmal the ‘Smoother of Trade’. He went forward to worship, after a ritual exchange of pickpocketing and slight-of-hand to remove the valuable stuff from the pocket being picked. The God taught him a new mystery, and he found out about the meaning of ‘The King’ and ‘The King in the Greenery’. They also decided that it was possible that the others arriving might result in local complications. They waited with trepidation.

Serala ‘healed’ the Goldeneye of the Brand, using Healing from Yelmalio, who likes his horses and followers perfect, rather than with heroic scars. The rest of the horses, however, had either Grazelander or Lunar cavalry brands, and trouble was anticipated. They managed to sneak in, by looking like a Grazelander bunch, with horses to sell. They met up with Irillo, and the plan was made to make tracks. They left, and after a ride north, encountered some Lunar heavy cavalry. Spotting them at range, they managed to manoeuvre clear without encounter.

They finally exhaled, as they passed out of the Glowline, and headed back towards Aldur Chur. There was a slight detour, as they headed down the smoothly paved road to the Dwarf Mine. They wondered slightly at the strange geometry, and were awed as they came closer to the great stone gate, surrounded with the runes, with the Sun at the apex, pierced as a window of some sort.

The door opened to them, and they were greeted by a Dwarf, who offered to take them to ‘The Dwarf’ . It turned out, when he sat down on a throne, that he was the Dwarf of Dragon Pass. The great hall had wall paintings which magically echoed the time, seasons, and weather outside, and also had strange statuary of other Dwarves in niches around the hall. Trading occurred, with Irillo exchanging silk for gems. They were fed, in a separate hall with pointedly decorated walls, showing the Cannon cult at work.

Leaving, but now recognising the aperture above the gateway as a cannon port, with a delightful itching between the shoulder-blades as they passed through a carefully designed killing field.

With surprisingly little further worry, they reached Alda Chur, and sold some of the goods. When they went to sell 3 of the Cavalry horses, however, one of the buyers turned out to be a Seven Mothers Rune Lord. He accused them of stealing, which Berra didn’t take well to. He spat in her face, and she drew her sword, which triggered the Market spell, causing her to fall over. He tossed Irillo about half the value of the horses, and took them away.

Dormal, being a suspicious SOB followed, and was able to see the Rune Lord paying off a bunch of ruffians. Dormal wasn’t able to make out the details, but came back to warn the others, who shifted inn, and thus missed out on the inn being burned down. Leaving, with the warm sense of a sling bullet dodged, and the warm feeling of an open fire, they headed back towards Boldhome.


“I have lost the volume control for my children.” – Player Parent

“We are giving her life advice.” – Berra
“Oh god.” – GM Parent
“I AM HELPFUL.” – Berra
“What damage do I need to undo?” – GM Parent
“I told her it was socially acceptable to kill you and take all of your weapons, and you would be proud of her if she did.” – Berra

“Broo Come
Rocks Fall
Characters Die” – GM’s entire plot

“Rictus grin – GM’s entire expression.” – Berra

“You don’t mind the party being split”- Berra
“. o O (With a longsword)” – GM,

“Did you follow the sensible people or the… vengeance-seekers?” – GM
“THAT IS US.” – Berra
“Enthusiasts!” – Serala

“In the rear, with the dear (Mellia).” – Berra

“Did he call us shy? Do we have to deck him?” – Berra

*Fist Bumps* – Rajar

“So, the sensible group…” – GM
“That would be the ones that are going after the lunars when they are sleeping?” – Nala
“No.” – GM

“BUT WE DID AND IT WAS GREAT” – Rajar

“We have already got plans not to sell the Lunar marked horses in Bagnot!” – Berra

<<ties lunar head to lance>> – Rajar

“We’re going to traipse them through there and accidentally burn down the palace.” – Berra

“I think we’re burning them.” – Berra

“Shaman incoming. Berra has already Prepared Corpses.” – Berra

“Sid does refer to the trollkin head on the lance as ‘Fred’.” – GM
“‘Farrehd'” – Berra

“She eats marmite from a spoon.” – Description of Player
“Don’t we all?” – Rajar
“Some of us eat our marmite from knives.” – Berra

“The biggest marketplace in all of….” GM pauses to find a word
“Hitching places for TWO horses.” – Dormal

“I have no problems with the Lunars themselves. It’s who’s going to turn up claiming to know me.” – Dormal

“Dormal has previous when it comes to exploding my plot by stepping in and GMing when I cannot make it. PREVIOUS.” – Berra

“I will start fast-talking people.” – Dormal
“How’s your Tarshite?” – GM
“Not… not good. In fact I don’t have any.” – Dormal

“Capped at Trade Talk?” – Berra
“No, there are oddly enough no rules for that.” – GM
“Damnit. I tried.” – Berra

“GM: would you like to make me a Trade Talk roll? Possibly involving mushrooms?” – Nala

“The King.” *gesture with the greenery* – Bagnotian

“We’re very multicultural, with all the Finns and Poles.” – GM
“Czech yourself.” – Berra

“Rajar, I think there is no more fighting.” – Berra

“Who’s your incompetent shaman?” – Grandfather
“Nobody, but you’re here grandfather. You could fill that role if you wished?” – Serala

“Who’s your War Leader?”- Grandfather
“We don’t have one.”- Serala
Tiwr walks forward- Tiwr
“Berra walks forwards too.” – Berra

“I’ll offer him the javelin, as a demo.” – Berra

“Walk backwards away from the old person. Politely.” – Berra

“I hate your keyboard so much.” – Nala
“Sorry. Different keyboard, though. You hate them both.” – Berra

“Have you been reminding my granddaughter she needs to find a nice nobleman, settle down, have lots of fat babies?” – Grandfather
“War were declared.” – Dormal
“Shots fired” – Rajar

“I want to make sure the burial goes ahead properly.” – Berra

“(burning)” – Berra

“I had done some corpse preparing.” – Berra

” I don’t want to be rude to the shaman, but I also want to punch him in the face” – Nala

“So it’s…. very solidly etched in.” – Berra

“Eurmal ‘smoother of trade'” – Eurmal Initiate
“Fence and fixer.” – Berra

“Cynicism roll?” – Berra

“Count your fingers.” – Berra

“Look, I’m really sorry about this. Can you give me a really broad smile?” – Grazelander
“Smiiiiiile?” – Rajar
“He starts counting.” – Grazelander
“Also, are you a noble?” – Grazelander
“No, I’m not.” – Rajar
“He goes away again.” – GM
“Tok tok tok tok tok. These Grazelanders are crazy.” – Rajar
“. o O (Has own teeth. Not a noble)” – Grazelander, per GM

“Is this trouble?” – Berra

“@Vestra is that your music? It sounds Cthplhoid” – Nala

“alexa! order 50 kilos of porridge!” – Dormal
“:joy:” – Vestra

“MURDER” – Berra

“Dormal has the teapot rune spell! TEA” – Nala

“I’m riding into town.” – Berra

“I’m riding in with our string of GLORIOUS TROPHYS” – Rajar

“Hasto,Lego” – Nala

“I know! Why don’t I lead the horses in, and if anyone asks I’ll tell them I’m training them up to be unicorns.” – Tiwr

“I’m not sure if that was funny or not.” – Nala
“Nobody’s laughing. Nobody’s crying. All good.” – Rajar

“It is well endowed with horses and their manure.” – Vestra
“It is indeed a shitty little town.” – Nala

“Whores’ election? Oh, horse selection” – Nala

“When you say better, are they less likely for me to fall off?” – Berra
“Well, they are lower.” – GM

“There’s the King the Lunars support… And then there’s the King in the Greenery.” – Eurmali
*points South* – Eurmali

“So there’s the Lunar Style King and then there’s the Old Tarshite guys south like where we’ve just come from” – Rajar

“YES YES I WOULD” – Rajar

“Rajar would just happily recite the whole song of how he slaughtered the Lunars!” – Berra
“Yes, but he’d do it in Praxian.” – Dormal

“Hand over the helmet and the necklace, wrapped up.” – Berra
“… Give them to me again in Alda Chur.” – Irillo

“And now it is the 400m casual saunter.” – GM

“The King in the Screenery…” – Nala

“So, you have a big string of horses. Serala, are you arranging them in any particular way?” – GM
“Yes. The SENSIBLE way.” – Serala

“Right. Push to talk on. This will be fun.” – Berra

“I don’t have that, I don’t think” – Nala

“I thought you said ‘squirrel folk’ for a moment. Was there another combat I missed?” – Nala

“It’s better to stay awake than try and wake me up.” – Rajar

“I can absolutely guarantee that there are no squirrel folk.” – GM
“You do not need to worry about them.”- GM
“Trust me.”- GM

“Is it theft if you murder the owner first?” – Dormal

“You can tick your beast.” – GM
“Is that a euphemism?”-Nala
“Ah, Nala. I knew I could rely on you.” – GM

“SENSE CHAOS” – Rajar
“There are lots of trees here, Rajar.” – GM
“It’s alright. I’m biding my time.” – Rajar

“Billy is not fleet of floot.” – Rajar
“Feet of foot?” – Nala

“Serala is proposing some high-speed long-distance riding.” – GM
“I look at the place where the lead rein clips on.” – Berra

“Poor Bloody Infantry.” – Berra

“I was mocking Berra.” – GM
“No, immune. I’ve met Dormal.” – Berra

“It’s entirely possible our grandparents killed each other.” – Rajar

“Devil. The original blockhead” – Nala

“Farsight.” – Serala
“One of these days the hawk will speak Hindi instead of Farsi” – Nala

“I’ve got all the zeroes tonight. It’s going to be bad next.” – Serala

“Thighbones the size of Berra… Thighbones the size of Nala…” – GM
“Well, the wolf wants to go there.” – Dormal

*sepulchural tones* “It is not dead which can eternal lie.” – GM
“Wow, that’s like, two of Berra’s least favourite things.” – Dormal

“There is no sign of the heavy cavalry.” – GM
“Huzzah.” – Nala
“No, Currassiers.” – GM

“So, you can camp up.” – GM
“If you insist.” – Nala

“I don’t want to go.” – Berra
“Why not?” – Nala??
“A reason.” – Berra

“Failed honour (love my companions) and failed anything that would lead me to not go either. So: friends!” – Berra

“This is not pubic hair, is it?” – Nala
“No, this is more geometric.” – GM
“We’re not going to speculate about dwarves.” – Dormal

“Too many pies may have been consumed, but let’s move beyond blame.” – GM

“Tie up the animals” – Rajar
“Tiwr: RACISM SHOUT” – Berra

“You’ll be wanting to see t’Dwarf, then.” – Dwarf

“There’s some as say ‘e still remembers the god time.” – Dwarf
“I would like to point out my eyes do not widen at this point.” – Vestra

“Aha! Someone who can walk. Nature’s Infantry.” – Berra

“Never mind the quality, feel the width!” – Irillo

( So, if all of those were elementals, what is our best chance to get out… Well, not have come in. Relax and sit down, Berra. ) O o . Berra

“I was in a WFrP once where during a rainstorm a dwarf grumped, “ We don’t have weather where I come from.”” – Nala

“Serala is having a bit of an explore, but nothing particularly pokey.” – Serala

“Zinat is the hungriest.” – Nala
“I would beg to differ.” – Rajar

“DRINK AND EAT!!!!!!!! For tomorrow we may fumble sense chaos” – Rajar

“It’s an… odd ale. Every jug tastes exactly the same. It’s very clear, but you’d say there’s something missing.” – GM
“Lager.” – Berra

“Do not try fermented Rhino milk.” – Berra

“Don’t worry, it’s not going to say anything, it’s a dumb waiter.” – Nala

“Walk on, walk out. Get onto horse again.” – Berra

“They’re so non-Chaotic it’s boring.” – Rajar

“Temple time!” – Berra

“Are you de-Gaulist Sartarite freedom fighters, Communist Sartarite freedom fighters…” – GM
“Splitters!” – Dormal

*smile* – GM

“Moolan. Probably Cows.” – Berra

“”I hear they really like horses like this in the lunar empire.” – Dormal
*facepalm* – GM

“What day is it?” – Rajar

“Ah yes. Temple. Also should do that.” – Berra

“Temple in the evening. Nights are for Death.” – Berra

“Tackle him.” – Rajar

“The Lunar killed grazelanders by steatlh and dishonour and died for it.” – Rajar

“Do you want to make me a fast talk, orate or charm, whichever is best?” – GM
“Rajar of course is known for all three.” – Rajar

*angrily muttering healing magic* – Berra

“Serala will go to a) check that Berra isn’t bleeding out and b) make sure she doesn’t try to get up…” – Serala

“Berra’s trying to get up, but …. oooh. 70/70. Because it is Serala, she stays down.” – Berra

“I wasn’t there when they got the horses, but trust me, that one’s really not capable of stealing anything.” – Dormal

“Serala whispers low, ‘Let them try to explain.'” – Serala

*death stare, but still not moving* – Berra

“Irillo also hands him the money, having /really/ fumbled.” – Berra

“Your countrymen died like cowards!” – Rajar
“Are you saying that?” – GM
“Yes I am.” – Rajar
“In what language?”- GM
“Probably Praxian”- Rajar
He turns around and says, “Ah, alas, I do not _speak_ Praxian.”- GM

“Irillo rolled 00 on his Bargain.” – GM

“I apologise on my own behalf for what they said.” – Dormal

“Nod. Smile. Remember his face.” – Rajar

“I’m going with Rajar.” – Berra
“I’m not going with the Psycho.” – Dormal

“I need another axe. Maybe two.” – Rajar
“And a really really big axe. And beer. And a pie. And some roast meat. And some bread” – Rajar
“And a few more beers” – Rajar
“And some barley soup with garlic.” – Berra
“And a sausage” – Rajar
“And some more axes?” – GM
“Yes” – Rajar

“That’s witchcraft!” – Nala
“Nothing wrong with witchcraft. That’s how all our technology works.” – Dormal

“More axes.” – Rajar
“Possibly a sausage wrapped in pastry?” – Serala
“Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.” – Rajar
“#Euphemism” – Berra

“Rajar, what was it you said to him, that made him turn?” – Berra
“Your countrymen died like cowards.” – Rajar
“There’s a blink, and then an impressed look, and a wide smile. “Well done.”” – Berra

“I AM THE DUCK THAT QUACKS IN THE NIGHT” – Nala

“Dormal: the brains of the set.” – Berra

“Well, they are not dressed the same.” – GM
“Neither was he, to start with.” – Dormal

“For this reason I love Dormal.” – Berra
“SNEAKY LITTLE F*CKER” – Berra

“He is sipping wine and looking critical.” – GM
“Psst.” – Dormal
“Not yet, but I’m working on it.” – Irillo

“We’re going to be moving. Now.” – Irillo
“Berra: Infantry officer immediately on her feet.” – Berra
“Okay. Pub Crawl.” – Rajar

“And once we’re moving out, I’ll ask Irillo why.” – Berra

“About 2am, some b@stard comes along and casts ignite on the inn.” – GM

“This goes go show they’re not very bright. The first thing you do is check the stables for the bison and the Unicorn.” – Nala

“He’s Loyal to Irillo. I can put up with him not being loyal to us.” – Berra
“Loy-al.” – GM

“I will sleep with Sid”- Nala

“I hate any kind of prejudice that’s not against horses!” – Nala
“HEY!” – Serala

“Death to the horses!” – Nala
“No, the horse riders!” – Dormal
“Both wrong!” – Serala

“Sad. I didn’t get to the temple.” – Berra

*<Ctrl-R>* – Berra refreshes the log website 10 seconds after the game ends

“I have to take away three foals when we get to Boldhome. I hope Nostril is offended” – Nala

“Way of the Weasel.” – Dormal
“That has got to be a Runemaster supplement.” – Nala
“Weasel Repair True.” – Nala
“Arrow of Weasel Feather.” – Nala
“Shoot someone with it and it turns into an Angry weasel.” – Nala


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