Meditations Upon Calmness

Berra — Berra Calm 01

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Context

On the way from Alda Chur to the Shaker Temple, Berra and Dormal did not get along, and there was nearly a killing. Serala pinned Berra with her horse to prevent bloodshed.

Charge

KILL I WILL KILL I WILL…

Capture

Damnit

Prison

And stop. I will not fight my friends.

And I will be calm.

Because.

Because if he can, I can.

Looked, and paused. And that was it. Calm.

So like this. What I was doing does not matter to what I am doing now.

Rest

After some hours, Berra will come up to Serala and say, “Thank you. Not for stopping me, but for understanding.”

Serala wrinkles her nose. “He’s a fool. Fool enough to stir trouble. He’s not worth your time, or your honour.”

“I know. But he called me a liar – and… well, the shape of the word hurts. But why didn’t he… well, no honour. And I suspect everyone knows that. So I’m grateful for you pushing back at him, and letting me know you knew.” Berra seems calm, and has a little smile again, and it’s not a psychotic smile.

The horserider grins again. “I like you. I like Rajar. The rest are good too, but I feel easier in your company. I’ve got your back, Berra,.”

“I really am grateful. There’s being Humakti, and then… I’ve been a Unit Soldier all of my life. I like companions.” Berra’s life has probably been about 4 years so far, as an adult.

“The Lunars killed rather too many of my family and friends. And no man – or woman – is an island, and all that.”

“Mm…hm.” Berra just walks on, peacefully. Or pacefully.

Rally

He puts up with this a lot. If he can put up with being mistreated in the Temple, I can put up with it outside.

Regroup

He seeks to invalidate my truth by telling me it is relative. ‘Tell yourself whatever you have to believe’. He does not know the Rune. Then he challenges me on it, but on his skewed version. He tries to put my feet down in his land so he can push me back, disbalanced. But truth is absolute and his sounds are only babble. They do not approach the Rune.

And when he pushes me, he is telling me both to accept what he says, and that what he says invalidates what I believe. So, if I act in my way and believe him, he has power. But if I act in my way and do not, he has none over me. He cannot push me if I am not there for him to shove against.

A Humakti should not have to rely on the judgement of others for honour. I do not need to strike him down, for his words mean nothing. I do not need to defend myself before others, for he is not even lying. He is just wrong, and foolish, and malicious.

Ambush

I still wish to defend myself against the judgement of others. Humakt, you are not a giver of strength, but an example to follow. Let me then give myself strength. Honour within is why we act with honour.

This is but one test within my life, or one thing to learn. I could leave him behind me in death, or let my friends be my shield. Truth. Truth gives me my shield spell. My friends know the truth of what he is and what I am. This is my protection.

I am a shield for my friends in battle. They are a shield for me in this.

Reveille

Oh my. Those bandits stopped when they saw I was a Humakti. But they don’t stop for D’Val. He… he must get so many others underestimating him.

Once.

How much more has D’Val been through than if he were a human? Did that toughen him up? Is that my path? The more I weigh on myself, the more I allow Eril to put upon me, the better a Humakti I become, if I survive.

And if I die, Humakt receives me. I will be the best Humakti I can, dead or alive.

Path of the Sword