S02 — Session 01

1626, Earth Season, Disorder Week, Fireday morning to early Godday

Dramatis Personae




Some Guards
A lot of steps


As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisagaNalaTiwrSaga and The Death of Rajar. As with last time there will be extracts from the Sonnets to VaranisSonnets in Praise of Xenofos and The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia. There will be reference to the Accounts of the Travels of Irillo Goldentongue. Editorial commentary will be recorded [thus]. The {“D”} voice appears.

What Really Happened

The only clues as to what happened here come from the quotes. Oh dear.

I think that this was mostly aftermath of fetching Kallyr and the Flame out of the Underworld and then leading up to us leaving Boldhome.

Notable Moments and Quotes

“So Varanis is quite upset with me, and her psychotic little hound dog is looking for a reason to kill me, as always.”


“Maybe the GM wants us to start without him. He’ll get here and Dormal will have made Varanis Prince.” – Berra
“That’s top secret. Who talked?” – Dormal

“I believe we’d left you all in hell, hadn’t we.” – GM
“Sartar, it’s pretty much the same thing.” – Dormal

“There Behind her are Lord Eril – and D’Val…” – GM
“High Sword!” – Berra
“Thword.” – Berra

“She’s not wearing any more crowns than normal.” – Dormal
“Well, she’s still got the whole star embedded in her forehead thing.” – GM
“Yes, but that’s a pre-existing condition.” – Dormal

“He may not be the High Sword, but he is apparently the voice behind the throne.” – GM
“Black Eminence.” – Xenofos
“Oh dear. Are you telling me I wasted my time sewing up Lord Vetinari?” – Mellia

“I don’t know if they were exthpecting it all to go over my head.” – D’Val

“Worried for us, or worried about us?” – Dormal

“D’Val looks at how far he’s come down the thousand steps. Looks down. Looks up again.” – GM
“Right. Up I go. I just need a sack of rocks.” – D’Val
“And off he goes at a jog.” – GM

“Death, Truth, Ducks.” – Berra
“Death, Truth, Duckth.” – Nala

“If someone else wants to go and ask the opposite, then that’s up to them!” – Dormal
“That’s what I was planning to go do.” – Berra

“Berra’s going to go out towards the palace, then.” – Berra
“Then she’ll stop, and go ask Xenofos something in an undertone.” – Berra
“Then she’ll go out again, having ruined a fine exit.” – Berra

“There is a Duck there, explaining to the guards about their stance.” – GM
“I dunno. If he keeps the heel back a bit then he’s got a good bounce off the left and the door to stab to the eyeball.” – Berra
“I mean, good day, High Sword. full prostration.” – Berra

“He waits to see if you’re about to fall down the stairs.” – GM
“Nope.” – Berra
“Get up.” – D’Val
“Good day.” – Berra

“She’s with me.” – D’Val to guard
“I’m with him.” – Berra to guard
“I don’t care who’s with who as long as you bloody take the smart arse away…” – Guard

“An hour or so after she left, the door is kicked open in the White Grape. And Berra re-enters. Balanced on the shoulder of a Duck.” – GM
“How did he kick the door open?” – Berra
“It’s got to make a funny sound.” – Xenofos

“I’m waiting to see if Xenofos has anything to say to me.” – Dormal
“Who?” – Xenofos

“Hands go out into a cross form.” – Berra

“What happened, High Sword?” – Varanis
“She had a mystic ecthperience.” – D’Val
“I see. Should I be concerned.” – Varanis
“A cult secret, so probably not.” – D’Val

“Right. I suppose I should find Xenofos.” – Nala

“I tell Rondrik I need a High Sword sized beer.” – Varanis
“One pint and one half pint please, is how you start an argument here.” – Berra
“(Two halfpints would be more acccurate)” – Xenofos
“But the two halfpints both drink pints.” – Varanis

“You get handed a pint, which the Duck downs. Nods, and walks out again.” – GM
“Nooooothing to prove.” – Berra

“You could probably wake her by slapping her repeatedly.” – GM
“Is that Dormal volunteering?” – Nala
“No, I like her unconscious. It looks good on her.” – Dormal

“Why is Berra unconscious?” – Nala
“I assume she found some exciting new way to fail at whatever she was doing.” – Dormal

“Pushing me today, Dormal.” – Varanis
“JOIN MY CLUB.” – Berra
“We have pamphlets.” – Berra
“Xenofos wrote them.” – Berra
“They have spittle on.” – Berra

“You’re getting married to Venlar? What?” – Nala
“Of course! I love him.” – Mellia
“Since when?” – Nala
“Since I met him.” – Mellia
“You’ve known him for what, a week and a half?” – Nala
“I know! I know! I should slow down but I can’t.” – Mellia
“She can always take lovers.” – Irillo

“I’m not sure I’m in any shape to face a thousand stairs.” – Mellia
“Nala’s giving you a thousand stares.” – Nala

“Go on. Get it out of your system.” – Dormal
“No.” – Varanis

“Dormal, that’s steepling behaviour.” – Berra

“Nala is just whittling or something, having no Mellia to stare at aghast any more” – Nala

“I checked. It’s been two whole weeks since Venlar and Mellia met.” – Varanis
“And they have met three or four times.” – Berra

“So Varanis is quite upset with me, and her psychotic little hound dog is looking for a reason to kill me, as always.” – Dormal

“(Dormal and Eril are agreeing on something. That can only be bad. Besides they are making sense…)” – Xenofos

“Nala, Berra’s looking like she needs to get out more.” – Berra
“@Berra you mean she needs to get in more and she’s left something in the spirit world… ((failed roll)” – Nala
“Heheheh.” – Berra
“That’s totally it.” – Berra

“Grandmother is the wisest of us.” – Mellia
“No, she is the sneakiest.” – Berra

“Dormal did say that.” – Nala
“He’s not stupid. He’s just a massive arsehole.” – Berra

“Varanis heads up the stairs and packs. She’s not talking much. She’s grumbling. Just not talking.” – Varanis

“Deserve. Heh. Who really gets what they deserve?” – Dormal
“((Devolin deserves everything he gets))” – Nala
“He’ll get his.” – Berra

“Death Rune Wagon? I can borrow it!” – Berra
“Maybe not the Death Rune wagon for Mellia.” – Varanis

“I want to whip someone… Tom and I are very different.” – Berra
“I wonder if I should put in some context there…” – Berra

“Berra will check whether they are leaving that night, and if not will slip out.” – Berra

“How can I get anything done if I’m interrupted continuously?” – Xenofos”
“My pardon. Your shapely barbarian woman is calling for you.” – Initiate
“Pardon?” – Xenofos

“Tiwr, the undernourished rhino.” – Varanis

“What time is it?” – Xenofos
“An hour after sunset.” – Initiate
“Whooops…” – Xenofos

“Do you want to come to Pavis?” – Nala
“…No.” – Xenofos

“Put two tents together and Praxians call it a city.” – Xenofos

“I didn’t kill him either!” – Berra
“But only by accident. I forgot to.” – Berra

“I’ll probably be gone for at least one, if not both of those weeks. Damnit, X. Are we getting high again?” – Varanis

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