Over the River, to Grandmother’s House we Go

S01 — Session 19

1626, Sea Season

Season, Week, Day

1626, Sea Season, Harmony week Waterday to Windsday

Dramatis Personae


Mellia (Not OOCly present)
Tiwr- Played en Troupe


Ganrel, Doorkeeper for House Saiciae
The Grandmother of House Saiciae
Serzeen, Lieutenant of the Guard for House Saiciae


As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, from The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia, The Lay of Serala, Lance of the Cold Sun , The Sonnets to Vestra, Grey Lady of Esrolia, The Death of Rajar, and NalaTiwrSaga. Editorial commentary will be recorded [thus]. Both the {“D”} and “T” voice appear in this selection of extracts, and there is one brief excerpt from The Accounts of the Travels of Irillo Goldentongue.

[We shall begin todays lecture with extracts from NalaTiwrSaga, in which her transformation in Nochet is clearly documented]

Praxian out of
Prax, and dressed up nicely, Silk
Purse Unicorn’s ear

{“Yeah. Very nice. Now can we go and see Granny?”}

Old Queen Ty Kora Tek
Meets an Ernaldan virgin
Who is the mistress?

[Meanwhile, the rest of the party has clearly found shelter for the night, and stashed their goods- as discussed in Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga]

Battles past bore Berra
Back to Brave Boasts
Nochet’s Narrow Neighbourhoods
Near yesterday’s Nightmares

Taverns told tales
Of Targets taken in War Torment!
So she and her swordfolk
Set to see Sweettongue’s kin!

[It is clear the two groups of our heroes missed one another narrowly at this point, as NalaTiwrSaga continues.]

On Nochet’s dark streets
Messages are sent with clear
Bullet points slung past!
1Wiermonken has it as ‘down to Earth’.

{“Message for someone….!}2Funny story. I put my pen down for a moment to consider the D voice and it vanished entirely. Rather a valuable pen too.

[Naturally, and in an unusual point of realism, the author(s) indicate that neither of the heroes can actually read, and therefore the tale is brought back to the Saiciae palace. Here we are fortunate, for the Accounts gives a mention of this moment, which happens to coincide with something we were fortunate enough to find in von Sturm’s recent digs in the Nochet area.]

Item gained: One lead slingstone (used). Engraved: "Dormal. Hultinga recognise you. Return it.". Value, 1 bolg3 Professor von Sturm translates the bolg engraving he found as, ‘Sailor God, House Hulting praises your return.’ This demonstrates the limitation of a contextless archaeological approach, as well as complexities associated with the Kunvulvretan script for Esrolian.

[It became clear that there were problems, if someone was trying to assassinate Dormal, and there was some ‘discussion’, as Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga tells us. ]

Brave Berra broke silence
To berate bleeding Dormal
Secrets slept in his soul
Sword4At this point, it behoves us to mention Niyall, who has this capitalisation as part of the title. Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, he argues, should be more correctly named BerraJarangsdottir Humaktisaga, being an explicative poem. He has it that the core of the poem, stripped of the more florid chapters, demonstrates to the young Humakti how they should both live and die, and thus ‘Sword’ is appropriate throughout, as the heroine Berra is a tool of Humakt.

We have mentioned Niyall. We now move on.
spake of his silence

[Here we get to the only mention in this lecture of the Lays of Serala, which is untypically blunt.]

Serala saw her friends fighting ‘midst themselves, by chaos wrought
Rather than ‘gainst Lunar schemes and Ill fortune as they ought!
Her calls to wisdom and to duty, and friendship fell
‘Pon deafest ears, and thus she, Propheess could only tell

Her truth, and let it fall unheeded, as it would,
And having thus done her duty as she should
She strode along5Naturally this refers to the length of the ‘Cold Lance’ and nothing else. like the Hero she was, to find
Comfort and fellowship with a Trollkin kind
6Lit: stablestablestable – the dark tongue has no apostrophes.!7 It is often debated whether this is a literal Trollkin, which sounds very improbable, even in so cosmopolitan a place as Nochet, or using it in the sense of ‘an urchin’.

[The remainder of the group appear to have gone to a feast at the Saiciae palace, Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga noting: ]

Fury feared at Feast
Foefeller fought foodsleep
Beyond Babeester’s8If I find any of you attempting a pun on Babeester Gore, I will be attempting a pun on Fail. I will be laughing. Boundaries
Bow blast bore down beside

Bravely Berra bounded
Blessing of Bladegod began
Saving softhanded Speaker
Setting Searing Shaft aside

Nearby Noble Nala
Knew nice Necromancies
Ernalda’s Energies emerged
Enwrapped Evil Assassin eagerly

Wrathful Rajar ran
Redblade rod raised
9Or, chilling, real-axing, chill-axing all cool.
Thrown thrusting through,
The traitor trapping

Faithful Foekiller friendsaving
Facesaved fearful guards faults!
Stout Gold-Speaker saved
Swiftly with Shield and Sword!

Our heroes had split into two separate groups- with Nala and Dormal in a makeover scene, in which Nala is assured that armour will not be necessary, but Kohl, braids, and silk clothing will, whilst the others go and find somewhere to stay in an inn that Irillo knows (and Mellia and Jenn peel off to go to the Great Hospital). Once they are installed, Irillo admits they should probably go and pay their respects to his ‘Grandmother’. Meanwhile, Dormal and Nala have arrived at Granny’s house, and have slid their way in. ‘Translating’ Dormal lets Granny know what is up in Sartar in not quite so many words, and spins it to make it appealing as a means of the House Saiciae gaining influence. Despite Nala’s suspicions, Dormal makes the sale. After surviving ordeal by Gran, they peel off to go to the Earth Temple. On their return from this, their day is spoiled by Dormal being hit by a sling bullet, almost killing him. Fortunately the exquisitely coiffured Tiwr is present, and Dormal is healed by being stabbed repeatedly with Tiwr’s horn. Belatedly realising they may be in danger, they take cover, and stealth their way back to Granny’s palace, taking with them the sling bullet, which has writing on it.

Meanwhile, Irillo and his group have also arrived at Granny’s palace, where the door guard is an ex-colleague of Berra’s who warned her that a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Lanasha, a Vingan, was still in town, and holding a grudge. Taking this onboard, they entered, where Irillo smarmed his way successfully into Granny’s good books, with gifts of gems and Clearwine. They were given a sample on their way out, and Serala almost spit-took when informed it was a cheap way of checking for poison, as well as a sign of favour.

The party reunited, Dormal showed the others the bullet, which Irillo read, informing them it said “Dormal. Hultinga. recognise you. return it.” Whatever it was. There was lively debate, and Serala retreated back to the Inn at Berra and Dormal squabbling, and the others deciding to dress up for a nice meal at Granny’s place. Irillo and Nala went as guests, Tiwr went but had to stay outside, Berra attended as Irillo’s bodyguard, and Rajar went to stay in the guardroom and flirt/compare axe sizes with the Babeester Gor lieutenant of the household guards.

Unfortunately, the guards got distracted by a warrior accidentally prodding a Babeester with his sword pommel somewhere she did not wish to be prodded, whereupon she broke his thigh with her fist. She was just about to finish him off when a Humakti intervened. Whilst this was going on, an assassin got past, made it to the minstrel’s gallery, and failed with a Firearrow attack. Unclear of whom the target was, Nala threw herself on Dormal, taking him to the ground (although he managed to keep his wine unspilled), and Berra put up Shield, and closed on Irillo. She was close enough to see the second arrow heading towards him, and interposed herself, resulting in it striking her. Rajar rushed in, belatedly, and threw an axe at the assassin, striking her. A slow spell from Nala also caused problems, as did an ignite, and finally the assassin was brought down by a visiting Orlanthi with lightning, but they proved not dead, and healable.

“We only have half a Dormal…” – Nala
“The half that doesn’t talk. I’m in favour too.” – Berra
“You say that.” – Nala

“Berra’s mostly sticking with Irillo.” – Berra

“Nala. Quick. Tell me all your titles.” – Dormal
“What?” – Nala

“Right. We need somewhere to stay. Has the Bolg Boat changed ownership lately?” – Berra

“Let’s assume that for reasons that escape me now, nobody has been stabbed.” – Dormal

“Aw.” – Rajar
“Nala: “Dormal. What is polite?” – Nala

“That way there, you can buy any number of interesting things painted to look more expensive than they are. The paint comes off. This way should be a real market, as I recall. But it’s mostly used by people who don’t speak Heortling. There are a lot of those who do, and some Praxian speakers, and even some Grazelanders. All in little clans and tribes inside the city.” – Berra

*whispers to Tiwr* “I don’t think that’s a buffet. Please stop.” – Nala
“Tiwr: They are oppressing me by not letting me eat this hedge.” – Berra
“Shhhhh.” – Nala
“Tiwr whisper: Oppressing.” – Berra

“I’m not wearing armour. I don’t want to be stabbed.” – Nala

“Serala is looking unconvinced. “But why would Grazelanders live here? They can’t gallop in there. You can barely see the sky.” – Serala
“You’d be amazed. There are proving grounds and horse markets. A lot of horse markets. I can’t pretend to tell you why they are there, but there are places you can see the sky really well.” – Berra

“I so wanna run in and screech to a halt like Tiwr.” – Nala

“Snake: hsssss!” – Berra

“Okay. So. it would bad to kill the snake?” – Rajar
“Snakes are good.” – Berra
“Snakes are an Orlanthi creature.” – Berra
“Snake Pipe Hollow begs to differ.” – Rajar

“Snakes are an Ernaldan creature” – GM
“To be fair I have nothing against them” – Rajar
“((The GM was born to play a panto dame))” – Rajar

“I said DORMAL.” – Grandmother
“Obsequious grovelling mode on.” – Dormal

“Good gait, high arching step…” – Berra
“All his own teeth” – GM
“And some other people’s.” – Berra

“I shall endeavour to look ashamed. – Dormal

“I’ve been a guard…” – Dormal
“GUARD? What idiot trusted you to guard ANYTHING?!” – Dormal’s grandmother

“Nala does not look confused by Greyrock Rise’s mention (TM)” – Nala

“Perhaps you are not a complete idiot after all.” – Dormal’s grandmother

“I want to see the GM do either St Trinian’s or Kind Hearts now.” – Nala

“Nala! Et tu?” – Serala

“I am assuming that the Praxian and the horsewoman do not want to be immured in thick marble.” – Nala
“It’s rather horrible and slippery” – Nala

GM: scritches cat on camera
Berra: bats at GM’s hand. bites.

“They’ve put him in clan plaits.” – GM
“Fair enough. Someone’s got to take Irillo’s place.” – Dormal

“Don’t kvetch. Then it’ll be GlueWhine.” – Nala

“She clearly feels better in the company of someone who’s done this city.” – Serala
*gape* – GM
“Only some people in this city.” – Berra

“Bubble bath.” – Berra
“No unicorns allowed.” – Berra

“Riden is one word for what she does” – Rajar

“GANREL!” – Berra

“I’ll speak for her, and if /he/ causes trouble I think I can stop him.” – Berra
“That wasn’t it.” – Ganrel
“Helpful, though?” – Berra

“How long have you been in the city?” – Ganrel
“A few hours?” – Berra
“Lanasha’s still here. I think she holds a grudge.” – Ganrel

“He shrugs. Looks at Rajar. Opens the main gate.” – GM

“But of course, Sword. We will take your word.” – Flunkette
“Initiate.” – Berra

“It would be more if I was with Billy” – Rajar
“Mental image of Billy on marble.” – ???

“I have cat hair everywhere. 0_0” – Serala
“So where did the small tasty things go?” – Rajar

“However, grandmother, I was able to get you these.” – Irillo
“Nipple tassels. He’s brought her nipple tassels. It’s all going to go wrong!” – Berra

“I like this bit where the GM has to roleplay with himself.” – Serala
“Watching the GM play with himself….” *lost to history* – Nala
“I was waiting for one of you to say that.” – GM
“I’m not ever interrupting if the GM is playing with himself.” – Berra

“No honour…” – Irillo
“Would you like half of mine? I don’t need it.” – Nala
“Don’t you contaminate him. He’s fine the way he is.” – Dormal
“No longer obviously outwardly translating.” – Berra

“Spreading harmony.” – Irillo
“Is that a euphemism?” – Serala

“I like to think that if the last thing somebody is going to see is my axe, it should be pretty.” – Rajar

“My complex is flash-flooding.” – Nala
“Is that a euphemism for Zola Fel’s bounty?” – GM
tact” – Berra

“Right. We should go get our best clothes on and probably bathe.” – Berra

“That sounds like damage dice… let me get more d6.” – Nala

“I’m dead!” – Dormal
“Well maybe.” – GM

“Now, about this not being stabbed if I don’t wear my armour?” – Nala
“COVER!” – Dormal

“It’s like she treats the city like the steppe, and becomes one with it.” – GM
“Oooh, that’s going to feel horrible.” – Nala

“She tosses a thing to Irillo…. which *rolls dice* he drops.” – GM

“Dormal. Hultinga. recognise you. return it.” – Irillo

“Hultinga. Also known as House Hulta.” – GM
“You don’t want to see them when they’re angry.” – Nala

“They have plaited his mane. And oiled his horn.” – GM
“AND no that isn’t.” – GM

“Come to Esrolia he said. You won’t need your armour, he said.” – Nala
“And did you need your armour?” – Dormal

“You remember when you had to leave town in a hurry?” – GM
“I do, but that was ages ago.” – Dormal

“Also, Berra, Dormal has knees. You wanted the nakedness” – Nala
“No, I didn’t.” – Berra
“Also, I have seen him in cycling gear.” – Berra
“That’s way more horrific.” – Berra

“You probably don’t want to start a clan war in the city. I’ll rephrase that. You shouldn’t start a clan war in the city.” – Dormal
“Right. Because I was going to correct you.” – Rajar

“Nala tries really hard not to say, ‘I told you it was your name.'” – Nala

“Nala looks like she’s thinking VERY hard and staring at Dormal and Irillo.” – Nala
“Berra’s mostly grinning.” – Berra

*follows Dormal and catches up* “You ok?” – Nala
“Yes, thanks for that healing.” – Dormal
“It was Tiwr. I’m fairly useless.” – Nala

“Just didn’t need Berra up in my business.” – Dormal
“Nobody does.” – Nala

“I was thinking of talking to the library. Is it a spirit?” – Nala
“No, it’s sort of a temple.” – Dormal

“Just turn up the charm and let me do the talking if earthtongue won’t work” – Dormal
“I mean, I’m not invading. I’d ask all, um, politely” – Nala

“Rajar is planning on blending in with guards here and passing on the feast…..people actively trying to kill one of us” – Rajar

“I mean, if I don’t take my body it theoretically can’t be stabbed.” – Nala

“He thinks all snakes are the same? RACIST!” – Nala

“Rajar, I’m planning to go off into the city where a crazy ex-girlfriend of mine might be, and she knows where I’m going… so I’ll see you at dinner.” – Berra

“And cast Detect Enemies.” – Berra
“You’re in Nochet. That’s not wise!” – Dormal

“Now that I know what’s going on I can take precautions.” – Dormal
“It’s wise to take precautions (Says Nala, nodding sagely, completely unaware of double entendre)” – Nala

“…I should probably go tell the others about what I’ve told Grandmother. I’ll leave Tiwr with you. Don’t go in front of any windows. OK?” – Nala

“Got it.” – Dormal

“Although they won’t attack here.” – Dormal

“Nala’s a bit of a coiled spring. Since the attack she’s gonre into Huntress mode” – Nala

“Mute button and crisps.” – Berra
“It’s the way forward.” – Rajar
“But whenever I toggle mute there’s about a 2% chance discord disconnects me, which makes crisps a non-ideal snack.” – Berra

“Rajar will be going as a guard” – Rajar

“Serala gets a Sid!” – Berra
“Sid. A girl in every stable.” – Nala
“….” – Berra
“Rajar, you should keep him company some times.” – Berra
“I should its true,” – Rajar

“Sid is lovely. I should know, I’ve been sleeping with him for three seasons!” – Nala
“He’s very good at night.” – Berra

“Can I talk to the others before dinner?” – Nala
“Yes, you’ll have time.” – GM
“OK, do that then, and inform them of the “I totally changed the names in what happened” gambit” – Nala

“Why did you have to tell anyone? Can’t we just go to the temple? They tell people things.” – Berra
“Berra looks pretty puzzled.” – Berra

“Nala blinks. ‘You don’t lie like a thief to a Grandmother!'” – Nala, who just lied like a thief to Grandmother.

“Dormal did it. No, he didn’t do it. I mean…” – Nala
“Keep digging.” – Berra

“Is there a salad? For Tiwr?” – Nala

“Rajar is working on this looks like its a women’s polite party. They have those at home. It’s best if Storm Bulls stay outside and guard them and don’t go in.” – Rajar

“Hahahah.” – Berra

“Charm. Yes. That well-known stat of mine!” – Rajar
“Oh look at that. It’s the one with no numbers next to the base score.” – Rajar
“Yes, I know that.” – Nala

“Babeester Gor-Storm Bull religious debate.” – Dormal
“Fetch a mop.” – Rajar

“That could be unfortunate.” -Rajar
“Bloody hell, yes.” – GM
“^^^ GM: rolls dice voluntarily” – Berra

“Eleven points of damage to his leg.” – GM
“<<applaud>>” – Rajar
“In the stables, Sid twitches for no reason.” – Dormal

“Are you doing anything?” – GM
“Well, I’m waiting to see if she goes for me – because that would be unfortunate.” – Rajar

“The floor show in here is much better than your room!” – Rajar
“Rajar comes back covered in other people’s blood. Hey. Great party!” – Rajar

“There is an Amazon kneeling on your chest. Sorry about that.” – Nala

“Great Axe in my left hand, draw a small axe with my right.” – Rajar
“The small axe or the cute axe?” – Nala
“Cute.” – Rajar
“awwww.” – Nala

“I’m still really embarrassed about that Intrigue roll, you know.” – Nala

“He has been partially healed.” – GM
“He’s always going to walk with a limp something.” – Berra

“It’ll be fine. Trust me.” – GM
“I have religious troubles with that.” – Berra

“We are after all facing the Lunars ……and working together is a good thing……..” – Rajar

“You know, I interpreted the bullet message as you should return the sling bullet with extreme prejudice and perhaps a sarky addendum.” – Nala

“Personally I thought sticking it to an axe and then burying it in the sender.” – Rajar

“I question the wisdom of, you know, killing the person you’re trying to extort money from.” – Dormal

“I do wonder if the dude what fried the assassin was in on it.” – Rajar
“The thought occurred.” – Dormal
“But we’ve got the assassin (if that’s what they were).” – Dormal

“The no armour thing sounded very much like “don’t be taken alive”” – Nala

“Pesky truth runes are no good for assassins.” – Dormal

“Because that would be declaring open clan war in the city” – Dormal
“And the Queen has opinions on that.” – Dormal

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