North, Miss Tesmacher. North!

S01 — Session 24

????, Sea Season

Season, Week, Day

1626, Sea Season, Harmony week Fireday to 1626, Sea Season, Fertility Week, Fireday

Dramatis Personae


Varanis daughter of Serzeen, of House Saiciae
Xenofos, of House Saiciae
Tiwr- Played en Troupe


A collection of horses, mules, and hand wagons, some well behaved and some… not


As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from The Lay of Serala, Lance of the Cold Sun , The Death of Rajar, and NalaTiwrSaga. As with last time there will be extracts from the Sonnets to Varanis, and also The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia, additionally, we will be seeing the Sonnets in Praise of Xenofos. Editorial commentary will be recorded [thus]. Both the {“D”} and “T” voice appear in this selection of extracts. We shall leave aside Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, for reasons of our own.

[Good morning. All settled?. In the absence of your usual professor, welcome. You may address me as Prof Garin. First name, ‘Prof’. You may recognise me as a visiting Professor, and yes, black is my natural plumage.

It strikes me, looking at the notes on your progress so far, that while my *esteemed* associate may have tested you severely, he has never in fact examined you. Therefore, our extracts today will be short, and you will be required to extrapolate on them from memory, without preparation. I am assured everyone reads ahead. Row seven, please understand I have been sitting among you for a while, and I know where your textbooks fit. Choose three of any of the stanzae and write for an hour on each. We shall begin with NalaTiwrSaga]

{‘It’s not even dark in here. I demand a better form of hell!’}

Her hold on Dormal
Life-saving, as child-mother
In all their fevers

The beat of wave-crest
Wheels of water passing by
Cramped in movement.

“I could go faster than this if it wasn’t for all this water!”

Northward and Coldward
Ice formed by ages, melted
Only by the Yelm-Sun

[Everyone have that? Good. No, I shall not be repeating it. If you expected me to write this down you should not be studying oral poetry. And so onto The Death of Rajar]

A bison walks slowly
But like me always gets there
I too am like me

[You may if you wish reference the Spurious Rajar in your writing, but I shall not be marking your work. On to the Lay of the Cold Lance. Yes, I know that is not the full name. No, I do not *expect* you to expand the contraction, nor shall I tell you if your essays should.]

Upon the road to Boldhome horses passed, as many as the Cold Sun e’er could count
Each one a gift from Her whose lip cries war to all companions who did need a mount
And more! upon that road she was the lead who made them pass in peace to Boldhome High
And in the swift attack by bandits low did cause them all their ransoms out to cry.

[Moving on, you may also wish to examine Sonnets to Varanis. Or not – I understand you normally have a lot of leeway.]

And as she looked behind to Nochet dear [Yes, I do pronounce it that way.]
Her heart was proud within her, her eye clear!
All sign of eagerness she bent to hark
Onto the North, astride Masana Dark

She walked with all, and all were given smiles
To while away the passing of the miles
And always in her mind there was no harm –
For one as she brought only healing balm.
Within the Hospital she had been kind
And Dormal’s fever held her gentle mind,
But on the road encouragement was hers
To give to all, as history avers.

{‘Well, that was both boring and enlightening.’}

[Oh, I’m sorry. I slipped into MelliaSaga there. If you were trying to write them both down, feel free to separate them wherever you believe you should. And if you can write out the full name here, no doubt that will go better than MelliaSaga – I am of course more of a writer on the Northern style. But I digress. Xenofos Oh, Xenofos – what would we do without him to cast doubts on the Q voice?]

When he who saw the Dragon with those eyes
Of light and mystery should show surprise
On Wilmskirk’s low-walled fame they travelled fast,
T’was only that his mind was on the past.

His stand by Kallyr as she came to air,
His wise recording of her features fair,
Were in his mind and to his pen in time
To aid his fellows and to aid — this rhyme!

[We will not be covering Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga today. The intelligent among you may or may not decide this will happen next week.]

{‘Well, at least *that* is a blessed relief.’}

Student Essay

Look at my new axe!
My new axe has Storm Bull on!
Greatest axe ever.

Don’t dwell on dark stuff.
Here, have another deep draught.
Look at my new axe!

This one is so cute.
Nala’s right about ribbons.
Don’t they fly nicely?

We joined our heroes licking their own (and other peoples) wounds in the tower, settling in, and sharing out loot (except for Mellia, who spent time healing everyone, even a Lunar, who surrendered to her personally as soon as he regained consciousness). They then returned to the Palazzo of House Saiciae, for a debrief with Granny, and hot bathing (or in the case of Rajar divebombing the cold plunge pool).

Meanwhile, Nala, along with Erinalartha found a Heroquest which might be of use in returning someone from the land of Ty Kora Tek, and went to the Great Hospital to split shifts with Mellia, waiting over Dormal’s sickbed.

Dormal woke to find himself in a strange, and disturbingly organic building, whose long corridors seemed to ooze, and pulse, and were red in colour. Behind the numerous doors he found people he knew, who asked him for maddeningly annoying bits of paperwork to let him out, which he could only get from other offices, who in turn required further bits of paperwork ( (c) Goscinny and Uderzo ). He tried igniting his way out, and found this gave him a headache (and made him start burning up, which Nala cured using the patented wet chemise cuddle method). He tried cheeking his way out. Finally he searched the building for Eurmal the –Forger– Creative Scribe, who traded him a pass for the colour of his eyes.

Dormal woke up, abruptly, minus the colour of his eyes, but rather earlier than expected, and fortunately not Illuminated (given he was then Sense Chaosed by Rajar).

Apologetic for their troubles whilst under her care, Granny foisted the team with Varanis and Xenofos to travel north again, rather to Berra’s distaste.

Serala sent her hawk north, to Boldhome, carrying a message for Tennebris. The party fret slightly about this.

There then followed a travel montage, interrupted only by Irillo, possibly wearing a false moustache (over his real beard and moustache) selling the loot for them in the next city along. Finally, our heroes reach the –magnificent city– small town of Boldhome, and are summoned to the Palace, where in the compound, Tennebris awaits them.

“Searching for squid in all the right places.” – Nala
“Is that a euphemism for…” – Serala
“I’m sure it relates to Koraki, but I’m not sure how.” – Nala

“I want answers and a ransom, because I have thought of uses for money.” – Mellia
“Money can be exchanged for really useful things such as this shiny axe!” – Rajar

“I am totally willing to place myself under your protection and listen to your words of wisdom.” – Lunar
“Yes, he’s going to get lectured at later, when he is more up to it.” – Mellia

“It’s very much appreciated by the way. Although Rajar is rather hazy about how he goes to sleep and wakes up without holes in him.” – Rajar

“Are there rolls you would like me to make, like a *lot* of first aid?” – Mellia

“Let’s do the first aid first.” – Mellia
( That is why it is FIRST AID ) O o . – Nala

“Is the loot all marked THIS WAS STOLEN FROM A LUNAR?” – Nala

“I’m getting a bit troubled by Tom’s obsession with drool, frankly. That’s the third time he’s mentioned it this session.” – Serala

“Bones and arrows?” – Nala

“I don’t think my moon rune’s that high, oddly enough.” – Rajar

“Varanis is trying not to be perplexed at how quickly you are all sorting through her loot without even checking in.” – Varanis
“We keep everything to share – but Mellia is a White Lady.” – Berra

“If only the historian of the Lunar Empire had taken New Pelorian.” – GM
“Everything important is written in Esrolian.” – Xenofos

“There are two schools of thought on whether a historian of the Lunar Empire should take New Pelorian.” – GM
“Those who think they should… and Xenofos.” – Dormal

“The GM is just delaying.” – Berra
“Definitely hasn’t written any plot.” – Rajar
“I told you that already.” – Hobbitomm

“Wagon of fine ale. Uh, that should be flagon.” – Scribe, played by Berra

“Oooh, interesting!” – Scribe
“Oh?” – Nala
“You see here, in this paragraph, they have used a subjunctive, which they don’t usually use in this mode of writing.” – Scribe, played by Dormal

“Eating priestesses is frowned on.” – Nala
*faces and horrified pausing* – GM and Berra

“We can do this. We can be grown-ups together.” – Berra
“Can you? Can you though?” – Dormal

“Um, your unicorn…” – Ganrel
“Yes… is he OK? Sudden panic on Nala’s face.” – Nala
“Wait? My mares?!” – Varanis

“What has he done to my horses? No wait. Don’t answer that.” – Varanis

“Ow, my head.” – Tiwr
“You’ve been in battle, Tiwr.” – Nala

*bucket of water* – Nala
“ATTACK!” – Tiwr

“It’s fine Tiwr, you can heal this pain in your head just by touching it with your horn.” – GM

“You need to eat this paste or you’ll have a horrible headache.” – Nala
“Fall over the horse trough.” – Tiwr

“Xenofos – this is your fault.” – Varanis
“Only my fault if people find out!” – Xenofos

“Does anyone remember if Varanis knows much of anything about Tiwr, wine, and mares?! (Not the recent incident, but in general.)” – Varanis
“Surely everyone knows about Tiwr, wine and mares…. 0_0” – Serala

“Grandmother wishes you to help the foreigners with the rest of their mission. They may or may not wish to share with you that the Prince of Sartar is in a coma.” – Eranda

Approximately remembered quote:
“She insists that you allow her two clan members to join your company, by way of recompense.” – Eranda
“I don’t see why we should accept her spies.” – Berra
“Such diplomacy.” – Xenofos
“Oh Berra.” – Varanis

“Varanis is looking offended.” – Varanis
“Welcome.” – Berra
“‘Thank you.’ Varanis is still looking offended.” – Varanis

“Happy wave!” – Rajar
*stares at Rajar* – Berra

“‘I have little choice here, but don’t want to be forced on anyone. And yes, of course Dormal told me everything.'” – Varanis
“There’s a small blink. ‘Everything??'” – Berra

“Serala lifts her shoulders easily. “We don’t know you. You don’t know us. These things take time. It will sort itself out on the road, or someone will die.” That last is not a threat, more of a ‘if we can’t rely on each other the bad guys will get us’ comment.” – Serala

“Look, if you kill me, I can’t issue you the chit you need.” – Scribe
“I’m glad you find that reassuring!” – Dormal

“More swords and axes to fight the Lunars is a good thing. Welcome Friends!!! Have a beer <offers you your own beer>” – Rajar

“In that case, you know where we are going. We leave as soon as we’ve got a few things finished.” – Berra
“(Where are we going Varanis?)” – Xenofos

“So hooray, we’ll be kicking lunar ass all over Sartar and that Onjurelius feller can go wherever he came from in several small pieces.” – Xenofos
“Berra looks unimpressed, but resigned.” – Berra

“Varanis nods at Rajar and accepts the beer. The tension leaves her shoulders a bit and she stares thoughtfully into the cup.” – Varanis

“Yes, inspire yourself with the Moon in the Moon Temple!” – Berra

“Yeah, I’m not really a team player.” – Dormal

“Which door would Eurmal be behind?” – Dormal
“He’d be behind YOU.” – Berra

“Your energy. Your soul….” – Eurmal
“What, all of it? I need some of it.” – Dormal

“Well calling out with prayers does sound a bit haphazard, like… you never know who is listening.” – Xenofos
“Oh, I know that. We’d have to phrase it very carefully.” – Berra, blithely

“You were mindblasted.” – Mellia
“We should take you back to your grandmother.” – Nala
“Oh, one ordeal after another, eh?” – Dormal

“Rajar IS Serena Williams” – Nala

“Wait. Humakt has bounty?” – Nala
“That is just wrong.” – Nala

“Rajar’s quite used to being shown off gracefully, and it does involve beer, so the ritual is being observed!” – Rajar

“There’s a bag of money on your pillow. Fifty wheels.” – GM
“I should probably put that somewhere safe. There’s thieves about.” – Dormal

“Zorak Zoran… like fight. They not sensible like Storm Bull.” – Salid
“I… am going to make an intelligence roll to work out if this is really a good idea.” – Rajar

“On reflection, the Hawk is called Mouse. And is not going to be eaten!” – Serala

“Is Eril at the gate so I can spit at him?” – Nala

“I wonder how far after this village we’ll get to the town you’re after.” – Xenofos
“That would be Boldhome.” – Berra
“Oh.” – Xenofos

“More of us are heroes, so you don’t need as many people.” – Berra

“Boldhome is rather… quaint.” – Varanis

“Thank you all!” – Mellia

“Same bat time, same bat channel” – Hobbitomm
“Depending on laptop bat tery” – Hobbitomm

“Now let the recriminations begin!” – Berra

Related Logs