Cave Crocodillem

S01 — Session 36

1626, Fire Season

Season, Week, Day

1626, Fire Season, Stasis Week, Windsday

Run by Rajar as GM and co-GMed by Berra

Dramatis Personae




D’Val the Sword
Nala of the Unicorns
Zinat the Wolf
Tiwr the Magnificent

Greyrock Fall:
Chief Carasai
Harvan, chief weaponthane
Forsar Wolf-hater (deceased)
Galri of the Mantle
Falri and his band
Rather fewer skeletons than when the fight started
A zombie search party, some of whom are still filed as ‘rations’
Minstar Nomansson, a spirited young man

Class of his own:
Draznk Backbreaker, he who cries havoc alone, and his mace Cracker

Godly Intervention:
Zorak Zoran, the Hater


As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, from The Lay of Serala, Lance of the Cold Sun and The Death of Rajar. As with last time there will be extracts from the Sonnets to Varanis, and also Sonnets in Praise of Xenofos and The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia There will be brief reference to the Accounts of the Travels of Irillo Goldentongue . Editorial commentary will be recorded [thus]. Both the {“D”} and “T” voice appear in this selection of extracts.

[Hail to thee, blithe spirits. Birds, you never were. Welcome back to what is still Dr Tomm’s lecture series. A rather interestingly placed swarm of giant Pamalitised bees has rendered him unable to leave his house, which you will be cheered to know is now fully repaired. Those of you who do not believe me are welcome to look at the photographic evidence on the slideshow – or indeed, the news. Poor man.]

[As you are aware, exams are now marked, and I was pleasantly surprised how many of you found the week a refreshing change of pace. Both Dr Tomm and I share gratitude at your understanding of where and how our methods intersect. Last week, as you will recall, we left our various reconstructed heroes in combat.]

{“Excuse me! I am entirely unreconstructed.”}

[This week, we find them in the same positions, although the damage to NalaTiwrSaga renders it unfit for reading, alas. We only have this:]

– wolf –
Hot pain –
G –
1Spurious Rajar:

Go jump in a lake!
No, that’s worse than burning fur
You smell of wet dog

[And a quartet from DraznkChant itself, and I know you will know where that was found. This is a frequent refrain, a chorusline for every time he took up his maul against an intelligent being. That is a lot of times.]

Such hunger drives@@ @@the troll to feed
Such feast arrives@@ @@the troll to feed
He havoc calls@@ @@the slaves to bleed
Like thunder falls@@ @@the troll to feed

[The Darktongue recital of Draznk Chant takes three days, and you may be unaware that at several points the audience is provided with foods representative of the foes that Draznk fought and ate. Some people subject themselves to this voluntarily. So… Rajar being at this point in his holy rage, it falls to the Sonnets to Varanis to tell the tale.]

Then turned the troll towards her with its angry roar,
That shook the walls and rattled all the rocky floor,
That others quailed before the might of hatred broad and wide,
And even stout small Berra stayed all still as petrified.
Yet Vingan as she was Varanis showed no fear
But swiftly stepping in she cut the troll through leaden gear.

[And The Cold Lance.]

To left and right she slew what once had life
And laid’t to rest with sword and spear and knife
Until each corpse with metal red in bone did bristle
Then to her allies gave a piercing signal whistle
Telmori flooded to uzko chamber, which grew bright
As pure Serala called upon the strength of Yelmic light
Then to the troll she sprang when she had cleared the field
And with one blow of sword she clove its leaden shield
Around her did her allies flock to aid her fight
As swift as sudden ambush did the uzko show its might

[We are not to forget, how could we, Berra.]

“How about not forgetting me? What am I? Chopped unicorn liver?”

Lead locks loosening
Not least the last
Borrowed Berra broadsword
Blade brought to battle
Smote strong with Sword
Struck soundly Uzko
Bulging biceps broke
Blows to body balancing

[Once more Xenofos is presented – or presents himself – as the voice of reason and brilliant advice.]

As soon t’was heard the bellow of the spell,
Proud Xenofos knew how to ring his knell
And send him back unto his blood-drenched hell,
And thus cried out in tones clear as a bell
‘Foul Beast, of evil nature, oh foe fell!
Tis not that blade will reach you, but dispell!’

[Yes, taking the berserk spell off a berserker does significantly reduce the danger to all present. And then the aftermath.. Someone always has to clear up, and that someone is often Mellia.]

Within the battle’s roar she threw herself
For love of fellows, not for love of pelf2‘Pelf’ for money or payment is only used in Esrolian, providing a strong clue to origins.
To save from harm all that was true in man
To danger and to peril Mellia ran,
And Rajar touched although he fought enraged
A Hero, Mellia, worth the Golden Age!

When all was done and bodies lay about,
She shed but one tear over the sorrowful rout,
And that for Berra swift whose strong right hand
Had too long lain within the pris’ning band.
Then to the Goddess White did Mellia hymn,
Who smiling down on Berra healed the limb.

[And we know the fighting is over, for Rajar wakes.]

Alive and Awake
I did it again, they say
At least they bring beer

[“So, as ever, we should ask ourselves what evidence there is that these events occurred. It would hardly be a stretch to attribute to this an inscription which has tentatively been identified on epigraphic grounds as a ,,Salidstele,,.”]

,,”Boldhome Temple showed, Humakt defeats Zorak Zoran.”,,

[“It is unclear if this was written as a commemoration, as an act of piety (although the use of Darktongue renders this improbable), or as a taunt should the Death Lord return. Finally, let us turn to what the Merchant Prince writes in his ‘Accounts’.”]

It was never about the money.
I forgot that.
The money is just a tool of the God
The money brings Harmony by letting people talk.
You forget the Harmony if you think too much of the money.

Losses: A caravan
Gains: A Truth.
Balance: Without price.

Draznk showed his derision for Vingans by casting Fear on Varanis, and then batted Rajar about for a while with his maul. However, he was unable to put Rajar down despite a couple of good headshots, and the Telmori were a match for his undead, as Draznk was not there to support them. The rest of the adventurers crowded around Draznk. Dormal managed to get Berra most of the way free and she managed the rest, while he Illusioned up a broadsword for her. Eventually Draznk went berserk, and Xenofos managed to dismiss the spell on him, sending him into an incapacitated state, from which he was rescued by Divine Intervention – the earth opened up and swallowed him.

They cleared out the rest of the cave easily enough, finding traps and bodies, and Berra’s gear. The last part of the cave was a tunnel, and it lead through to a final chamber where there was a young man, Minstar, the lost youth of the village. The chamber was covered in crystals that were lit up by his spell as they came in, and they could see they were inside a god’s skull. Awe happened to most people. Serala, outside, saw Irillo and D’Val in the distance, and had a conversation with Galri of the Mantle about the Telmori and their history.

Outside that room Dormal emerged from the holy place to look at the outside of the teeth and try to pick up bits that were scavengable, while Irillo arrived and started pricing up the cave. A rather irritated D’Val arrived, and Berra had a lipwobbling moment. Galri lead off his chastened nephews, and everyone went back to the village to report the rather spectacular news.

“Right through the traps, yes?” – Berra as Co-GM
“Berra!” – Varanis
“Helping!” – Berra

“Rajar is not in a parrying mood.” – GM

“Is it just me who thinks Telmori are thinking…” – Irillo
“. o O (BEST BONES!)” – Irillo
“Not just you.” – Co-GM

“He’s hit the troll in the face.” – GM
“Just makes him prettier…” – Xenofos

“‘Charge’ is always appropriate.” – Xenofos

“I’m attempting to inspire myself with movement – to be able to actually move. And to make my sword better.” – Berra

“Berra! Whose side are you on?” – Varanis
“The side that’s not shooting into melee.” – Berra

“Finarvi… is throwing his sword away….” – GM

“lay me down um, cold something something….” – Xenofos fails another Sing roll

“Charrrrrrge!” – Mellia, in a tiny voice
“The sweetest sound in the world is a Chalana Arroy healer running into battle to heal you and your friends.” – Co-GM

“Lucky I learned Heal 6 while I was at the Temple.” – Mellia
“Can that deal with an amputated head?” – Berra

“Stupid rapier.” – Varanis

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of 1626, use Fireblade. The rest of Mhy advice has no basis more robust than the Accounts of Irillo Goldentongue, but the long term effects of Fireblade has been proven by ducks.” – Irillo

“( I don’t think farsee or detect life are any use here… )” – Xenofos

“I believe you mean “Lead GM of GM team.” – Lead GM
“I don’t believe I do.” – Serala

“Berra’s getting in the way of Rajar, just in case bad things happen.” – Berra
“She can crouch down and trip him up?” – Serala
“She’s shooooort.” – Berra

“Berra’s being held together by magic.” – Berra

“Is Berra a candidate for regrow limb?”- Mellia
“Well, if you cut the arm off.”- Dormal.

“Serala hears nothing. Too busy cuddling the horses and telling them it was just a silly troll.” – Serala

“Berra picks up Wind Tooth.” – Berra
“And cuddles it.” – Berra

“Death of Gods…” – Xenofos

“Serala: You are surprised by a Duck!” – Co-GM
“(Or at least, will be if there is any justice in this world.)” – Co-GM

“Ahem.” – Galri

“They think this place is something special to my people.” – Galri
“Is it?” – Serala
“…. No.” – Galri

“Troll’s gone.” – Berra

“It’s beautiful in here.” – Varanis

“Interesting geological formations…” – Xenofos fails a scan roll

“Berra is looking for any current danger in here.” – Berra

“((evil, evil chaotic werewolves – or a children’s tale.))” – Xenofos
“I think I like Telmori.” – Varanis

“Serala will fill him in….” – Serala
“With boots?” – Berra

“Well, they might be in trouble.” – Berra
“That group? Together? Of course they’re in trouble!” – Serala

“There are some what we’ll call… rations. Don’t look too closely at those.” – GM
“The food is wearing equipment.” – Co-GM

“Galri will happily talk about the general way that Telmori are, and he’s keeping half an ear open too.” – Co-GM
“Almost like he’s used to being alert.” – Co-GM

“The Duck took a while getting up here.” – Co-GM

“Still, you’re alive.” – D’Val, still dishevelled from travel
@@*@@lipwobble@@*@@ – Berra

“And THAT is why you decapitate them on the first stroke” – Irillo
“What, ducks?” – Serala

“Still wondering what exactly the troll was seeking to accomplish here…” – Xenofos
“Berra looks at Xenofos, and goes over there.” – Co-GM
@@*@@tells him@@*@@ – Berra
@@*@@alarmed look@@*@@ – Xenofos

“Well, aside from this stuff. We need to look at this properly…. with the Clan Ring, I suppose.” – Irillo
“This is Holy ground. So yes, the Clan Ring.” – Minstar

“And bronze, and strange ivory. I wish …. Huh… Xenofos? Can you analyse magic?” – Irillo
“And the Clan Ring, And the holy ground. And the Ancestors.” – Minstar

“I’ll go chat up Serala… chat WITH Serala.” – Vanaris

“No, let me just look up fumbled Runes… Oh…” – Co-GM
“Omg. Irillo!” – Varanis
@@*@@patpat@@*@@ – Co-GM
“This is what happens when you give me the rules.” – Co-GM

  • 1
    Spurious Rajar:

    Go jump in a lake!
    No, that’s worse than burning fur
    You smell of wet dog
  • 2
    ‘Pelf’ for money or payment is only used in Esrolian, providing a strong clue to origins.