Yamia — Humakts Fear
????, Earth Season, Death Week
Earth Season, Death Week, Clayday. Yamia performed Humakt Separates, starting with his decisions, to help her to come to terms with her newfound empathy. [[[s02:session-6|Session 6]]]
May be a bit heretical.
After a Heroquest, it is required to ensure a Hero is not a danger to the temple, and to learn from them any secrets or mysteries that have been hitherto unrevealed. Examined are Yamia Daughter of Silor, of the Cinder Fox Clan of Sartar, and Berra Jarang’s Daughter of the Blue Tree Clan of Sartar. Present are the Questioning Hand, with Kernir leading questioning.
~ Initiate Yamia, it is time that you tell us of what transpired. Speak of all you recall.
~ I thank you, Lady, for the honour you do me here. I took the part of Humakt in a Heroquest planned to save me from a lack of Separation, for I was too bound into the world.
~ Did you successfully enter the Hero Place?
~ I did, Lady. By the direction of Heroine Chettoria and the acceptance of the God, I was him, far before Time.
~ What happened, that you recall?
~ I meditated upon Honour, and Duty, and came to the conclusion it could be honourable to walk away from a Clan, or a family, if that was required for the good of all; the Clan, and the world. Then I spoke with Urox, and asked the difference between his rage and that of Vadrus. He said that when he raged, which was often, he was sorry when he hurt his friends and lovers, because he did it for them sometimes, and for him sometimes. This eloquent speech was interupted by the arrival of Vadrus, to tell us we were fools, and to demand Death from me. I asked permission of Urox to fight in his hall, and he laughed, and told me I was a slip of a man, but he would help me defeat Vadrus, and together we cut apart the angry wind, and I bade farewell to my brother Urox, leaving him with a parting gift, a mead cup of iron that no two men could lift, but which was light to his hands.
Initiate pauses, in attitude of thought. ~ Then I met with Orlanth, who told me he had no sorrow over what he had done. I asked if he had regrets, but he would not answer. I could not see the truth below the storms on his surface. Then I went to cut us apart, but I feared. I stopped myself, meeting my fears in my own form, and fighting them. Then it occurred to me, for my fear asked what I truly feared, that I should not fight, but walk with fear.
~ Then I returned to Orlanth. I cut the ties between us, and he was no longer my brother. I felt alone, but also whole, and I was calm. He raged, but did not strike me, and he left, and I returned to my hall, but it was not the Hall of the North Wind. When I left, it was Hall Left Empty, and I did not return. Then I woke, and found myself in the attitude of respectful challenge. This is all I have to say.
~ Thank you, Initiate. There are no questions.
~ Thank you.
~ Initiate Berra. Speak of all you recall.
~ I Heroquested, and was the Fear of Humakt.
Pause. Questioning Hand asks ~ What does that mean?
~ I stepped apart from Humakt when he faltered, and challenged him. He feared to go on, and feared to fall back, and feared to fail. He was going to have to do one of those things, though. At least one. I knew and that made me smile. I knew it could make him smile too, and he was trying to cut me out because I was a bad part of him. But I was him, so I knew as much. We fought. We’d have fought a long time, but he stopped and invited me to walk alongside him. Then I knew he’d won. I bowed, and we went and found Orlanth. By the time we got back, you could not tell us apart, but I was part of him and he acknowledged that. Then he cut away from Orlanth, and I woke. That’s when I passed out. But there’s really nothing more I can remember. Sorry.
Long pause. Questioning Hand asks ~ Did you have a name?
~ No. I was Humakt’s Fear. He was Humakt, but I could get in his way.
~ You both may be required to return for further questioning. Do you understand this?
~ Yes. As long as I am alive and can return, I will when called. ~ I am at the disposal of this battalion for as long as deemed necessary in this matter.
~ You may depart.