1629, Fire Season, Movement Week, Freezeday
Context
Berra entirely lost her temper, over the matter of the unplanned Heroquest, and has issued a general apology. Session 5.O-12.
Events
Berra did not approach Nayale after apologising to everyone, but went back on point. It takes her about quarter of an hour to gesture Nayale up to her side. She has put the little Hu…. the slightly larger Humakti on the side without the river, and given Inpira the rear guard.
Nayale hesitates only briefly before making the choice to catch up to her mentor.
The young woman is wary, eyeing Berra in much the same way she might an ill-tempered alynx. The openness and hero-worship so evident when Berra first met Nayale and her brother seem to have vanished.1Berra Specials Insight.
“I’m sorry,” Berra says. “I sometimes let my temper get away with me, and it’s… it was bad and I’m sorry.” She gives Nayale a frank glance, and then looks away.
“I understand, Lady Berra,” Nayale replies stiffly.
The Wyter Priest stays quiet for a few moments. “I… I dunno if you wanna hear me saying why, or anything else. Maybe I should but I dunno.”
“You are the teacher I chose.” There’s a small shrug. “If it will make me a better Humakti, then I need to hear it I guess.”
“You know you can unchoose me, right? You said – I asked. What happens if I’m not good enough? You an’ Harmakt both.” Berra gives Nayala another long look. “Decide if you’re regretting it because I’m the wrong person, or regretting it for a while because I did the wrong thing. One of those, you… actually, both of those you can do something about.”
Nayale shakes her head vehemently, shifting in the saddle to get a better look at Berra. “I don’t regret it, Lady Berra. I’m angry because I feel like I can’t do anything right. And because, in this case, I don’t know if what I did was right. And yes, I’m angry with you too, because I should have been able to talk to you about it but you were too busy being mad at all of us!” Once she starts, she can’t seem to stop – a rhino at full charge. “I should have been able to ask you questions and hear your thoughts and try to work it out, but you said I’d made a coward’s choice and you yelled and while I knew being Humakti meant getting yelled at, I didn’t know I’d not be allowed to defend myself or learn from it!” Whether she realizes it or not, Nayale’s own voice has risen to the point where she’s actually yelling at Berra. Red-cheeked and furious, she inhales sharply, getting ready to continue the barrage.
Berra does try to get a word in. “You are allowed to defend–“
“Am I? Then teach me how to defend myself from you, Wyter Priest, when you lose your temper,” Nayale snaps. “What are the rules?”
Berra narrows her eyes now. She takes a moment to look away and let the question hang there, and breathe just for a moment. “Why does it affect you?” she asks. “Because the first defence against that, is Separation. Does it matter?”
Nayale takes her own deep breath. Realising what she’s done, she takes a few more breaths before she replies. When she speaks again, her voice is steady. “You are a Hero’s wyter priest and despite your protests, on your way to becoming a hero. I want to serve you both. By serving you, I serve Humakt. It is a sacred responsibility and so I want to do it well. But also, by serving Humakt, I can protect Sartar against the Lunars. We are the warriors who shield others with Death,” she says. “Failing you, means that I fail all of that. And if you think I am a coward, you might send me back to Boldhome where I will once again be a new recruit with no resources and this time, without my brother. I can do it if I have do, but I’d rather get this job right.”
“Yeah, so, I think you’ve asked the wrong question…” Berra’s eye-narrow is now thoughtful. “You don’t need to protect yourself against my temper, because my temper’s not gonna send you back. It’s my judgement that might. Judgement’s when I’ve … Temper’s when I’ve lost my judgement. The thing to do about my temper’s just to ignore it. I got enough Air in me that it blows, but not that it keeps going. You’ve not failed me, but you’re doin’ a weird job right now, and it’s my task to know what the hell’s going on, and I don’t. It just ain’t fair of me to push that off on other people, but what you really want, is to be confident I won’t judge you wrong.”
“So, the whole cowardice thing wasn’t a judgement?”
“Nayale, I’m trying to say sorry for it right now.” Berra looks faintly aggrieved, and then sighs. “No. It’s… like when I thought I was at Pennel Ford. I hate being trapped into Heroquests because it’s happened before, and it made me really angry. And don’t tell other people that please. Except I guess your brother, but he doesn’t count.”
There is a considering silence as Nayale rides beside Berra. “I understand, I think,” she says at last. “Next time, what’s a better way to respond to you? If you start yelling?”
Berra shrugs. “Dunno. I’m not really thinking when I do, t’be honest. Maybe don’t try to tell me I’m angry? Just let it pass and it’s faster if I don’t have a building to push, y’know?”
Nayale nods solemnly. “If I focus on separation, I may be able to do that. I’ll try.” She glances around. “Will we be camping out tonight?” It’s a change of subject and an offer of peace.
Berra shrugs. “Depends how far we get, and how the weather is. Probably? We might end up at Rich Post if the timing’s right, but I think that mostly just means camping outside Rich Post.” The Wyter Priest’s attention is on Nayale, but her expression is far from readable.
“And although we aren’t working for Lord Irillo anymore, we’ll protect the caravan through the night, as we have been?”
“Well, the people here are friends, and Maalira’s paid me to guard her anyhow, and that includes the people with her. So yeah. I mean, we’re warriors. But I can’t be told what to do by him any more, is all.” Berra shrugs it off. “We’re probably safe from the people going after iron, and nobody else knows that we got it.”
“Right. Well, if there isn’t anything else, I should probably get back into position,” Nayale says. “Thank you for taking the time to help me understand.”
“S’one thing… nah, in fact you gotta work out some stuff.” Berra nods her head. “Back to the line.” As if she is in battle formation.
It looks like the young woman wants to ask about the one thing, but instead, she offers Berra a respectful bow from horseback. She makes it look natural. Then she drops back to her position on the flank, leaving her mentor to her own thoughts.
Berra gets back to watching the scenery as if nothing is wrong.
- 1Berra Specials Insight.
