1629, Fire Season, Movement Week, Freezeday
Context
Berra had another little moment. There was shouting. Session S5.O-13.
Events
Despite her apparent pique, or maybe genuine inability to even, Berra attends to the safety of the ‘caravan’ in her usual way, setting outriders and putting herself on point for a while. It is a couple of hours later that she drops back towards the group around the time that the mules are starting to suggest a grazing break. She lets her horse eat, as the group slows down for a pause and a stretch and maybe a snack.
Maalira is sitting leaning against Lofty, who is taking the opportunity to rest.
“I’m being unfair on people,” Berra says, loud enough to travel to anyone within earshot. “I’m sorry. It’s not the right thing to do.”
Maalira looks up at the sound of Berra’s voice and gives her an approving smile.
If Berra glances that way, it is quick. (She does. Of course she does.)
“I’m… it’s been hard to adjust to a few things lately and I keep expecting people to react to stuff like I do, or hoping they will.” Berra has run out of oats, steam power not being invented yet. She looks down at the stony road surface, and falls silent.
Maalira gets up and goes over to her. “Do you have food and drink?” she asks softly.
Berra blinks, and then thinks. “I’ve got my stuff on me but I didn’t eat much breakfast.”1Berra rolls what she reckons the Rune for self-care is, and failed Fertility.
“Come sit down and have some then. You can’t look after us if you don’t look after yourself.”
Even then, Berra checks around the area, eyes flicking over the farmland, the river, the road. She follows without demur, once that little thing is done.
Maalira resumes her seat and leans back against Lofty, who snorts softly.
Berra sits down in the dust, and stretches her shoulders. “My sister always feeds me when I’m feeling bad too.”
“It’s rarely a bad idea to make sure food and water aren’t the problem,” Maalira observes. “And even if they’re not the problem, at least you’re dealing with your problems on a full stomach.”
“They’re not the problem. I’m … me being different to people is some of it.” She has not actually moved towards getting herself food. She is just talking.
“You are doing what’s right for you,” Maalira says. She holds out a bit of her own food towards Berra.
Berra looks it over. “Vegetables?” she checks. “Or eggs?” At least she does not have to ask about bird-meat.
“None, just grains and a bit of honey,” Maalira reassures her.
Berra gives a tiny smile. “Sorry. It’s habit to check by now.” The smile widens. “Thanks.” She takes the morsel and eats it just like an infanteer. With a gulp, it’s gone. After that, she pulls opens a pouch with some rather battered dried apricots in it. “I didn’t eat much yet.” Maalira gets offered one.
“Thank you.” Maalira takes one with a wide smile of her own. She pauses a bit to eat it, then clears her throat. “How do you want things to go with everyone now?”
Berra freezes and then looks around at the others as if guessing wildly, and then back at Maalira. “Uh, I don’t know?”
Nayale is standing beside her horse, talking softly to it. The young woman has been keeping to herself since reconnecting with the group.
Insight Human for those looking at Berra: She winces a bit when she looks at Nayale, and lots of emotions flit over her – anguish, discomfort, embarrassment…
Maalira reads some of what’s on Berra’s face. “Do you want to go and talk to her?”
“Sh’s busy,” Berra mutters, and looks down. “And I needta think.”
“If you want to think out loud I can pretend not to listen?” Maalira offers.
Berra shakes her head. “Not about that.” There’s a big sigh from the small Humakti. “I’m not doing my work as a guide properly and… I should be able to by now.”
“We’ve been a bit busy,” Maalira points out. “What part of it is worrying you?”
Berra takes a while, and another dried apricot, to work it out. “You know how a Regiment is? It’s probably very different from structure in a … to a… It’s probably very different from a hospital.”
“Sort of, I think? It’s not so different in that there’s someone in charge than other people following their instructions.”
“Yeah. Well, if someone above me dies in battle, I step forward and then I’m in charge. And… it’s really really important that people know who is. So I should be able to deal with this. I’ve been in charge of stuff before. Once a whole company of Humakti, once doing the… well, Alda Chur was different. But you teach people an’ you also give them orders. And then the command lines are all … well, I should be better at commanding and keeping cool and a lot of things frankly.” Berra sags, shrugs, and then stays sagged down and small. She might be wanting a fight. It’s hard to tell.
“What do you think you should do about it?” Maalira asks casually.
Berra shakes her head. “Not right now. Just getting us safely through the next bit is important. Then I’ll talk to people.”
Maalira nods. “Good plan.” She smiles sidelong at Berra. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself – you’re dealing with a lot of stuff and most of it isn’t nice. No one can do that and not get mad sometimes.”
“Still need to make good to people.” Berra gestures around without looking. “I don’t have to be angry for the reasons I’m angry for.”
Maalira nods and stretches, arms over her head, feet pointing along the ground. Something goes crunch in a joint somewhere and she winces. “When this is over I want to go to Blue Tree and sit in a corner with a spindle for hours again. I’m so tired.”
Berra looks up, and nods. Her eyes are a little misty. “Yeah. I need a rest. I’m going to ask if I can take Lord Raven to Prax.”
Maalira’s eyes light up a little at the mention of Prax. “What will you do there?”2varanis: Pick a fight?
“Well, I was … there’s a Humakti there that I reckon’s got a few things Lord Eril needs, but mostly I’m just going to be travelling. Maybe we’ll see the Straw Weavers?”
Maalira’s face looks like the sun coming up. “It would be good to see them.”
“I don’t know if we’ll run into them, but you probably know where they’re gonna be. I mean, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come, once I had permission. I don’t know if I’ll get that yet.” Berra is trying not to make promises that she obviously wants to make.
“If you are allowed to go, I will go with you,” Maalira says firmly.
Berra nods. “It counts as my service to the Temple, so I should have most of the time free. I just need to be back before Dark Season.”
“I’m sure I can do some work in hospitals along the way, or in the tribes we meet,” Maalira says in tones of agreement.
“I’m gonna go by Tourney Altar.” Berra considers. “I left a grudge there, so it might be awkward, if he’s around.”
“What happened?” Maalira asks.
“He saw me carrying iron – the sword that the Wyter’s in now. And really he was after it, because he was a Rune Lore without an iron sword. He didn’t get it.” Berra thinks. “Got any more of that bread? We should get going soon but I should eat more.”
“Loads, here.” Maalira picks up a cloth-wrapped bundle the size of her hand and hands it over.
Berra breaks it in half, gravely, and hands back the bundle with the crumbs still neatly inside, keeping half for herself. “So, I asked him if he wanted to step outside.” There is a big grin. Berra is lost in nostalgia.
“Oh no,” Maalira says, laughing. She prods at the crumbs with the tip of her finger then sticks it in her mouth.
“Oh, yeah. And then when he did, I told him that I was going back inside to contemplate Humakt’s mysteries, and let him there.” Proud little warrior.
Maalira is properly laughing now. “Oh, Berra,” she mumbles.
“Yeah. So I don’t know exactly what happened then, but I do know that Toras cast Storm Bull magic on him, and the guy went berserk.” Berra sighs happily over her bread.
“Maybe you should take a detour around there,” Maalira says as she gets her giggles under control.
Berra looks at her food, and then up at Maalira. “It wouldn’t be honourable to avoid it,” she points out. “I should mount up again now. We’ve paused long enough.”
Maalira nods and stows the rest of her food. “It was good to rest,” she says.
Berra’s eyes linger a moment, but only a moment, and then she’s back to moving. She bites into the bread so that she can keep it as she mounts up, and she’s off to keep ahead of people where nobody can see her expression.
- 1Berra rolls what she reckons the Rune for self-care is, and failed Fertility.
- 2varanis: Pick a fight?
