Berra — Shields 01

????, Fire Season, Movement Week

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Context

Fire Season, Movement Week, early on Clayday. After prayers, Berra thinks about existence as a Humakti, in her near-empty temple. [[[s01:session-38|Session 38]]]

Events

Do I ask too much of people?

I would not have gone to Kero Fin had I not gone to Whitewall. I would have gone home, and joined a different Temple. But I met D’Val, and he believed in me. I met Tennebris, and he believed in Sartar. I must remember other people did not have that happen.

‘Strive to be worthy.’ But of what? An ideal I can’t be? … But I can’t be Humakt, and I still strive.

But that makes Varanis into my Orlanth, if I give her all of myself, and she’s still not ready to accept that.

So I make myself outside the Storm Tribe for the moment. Keep striving. I don’t have to be worthy of one person. But of someone fit to call. Varanis, Tennebris, or Kallyr.

… Kallyr. Well, if she does. If she did.

But they are heroes already. Yet a word from Tennebris commands me surely… without me giving all of myself.

So keep being worthy of their belief and trust. The model of Orlanth, not any person who is him. Strive to be worthy. Not of what Varanis needs, but of the tasks before me. Let my Lords decide the tasks. And keep trying not to speak out too much. Direct my rebellion outwards. Throw off the Lunars. Maybe, one day, be a scout once more, in the Blue Tree Clan, at peace but for raiding.

Maybe.

But I’ve seen the world now. More of it than most. I want to see Valind’s Glacier. Strive to be worthy. Of Sartar.

Of D’Val? No. He’s the model of how to do it. Be like him, not worthy of him.

Should I meditate before I go? No. I have my shield now. I’ll be down there for a while.

Goodbye Duck. See you soon.